Without any doubt in my mind, I absolutely and positively KNOW there is a gremlin living in our apartment. He’s my tormentor and has caused me great angst. He has moved my keys, my eyeglasses, my credit cards, and even my sneakers. Once he even stole my wedding ring. All of which I later recovered, thankfully. But still, it’s maddening.
I always pictured gremlins as being elf-like creatures with big ears being able to hone in on human conversation without making a peep. They plot and connive to drive me crazy. But who knows what my thief in
residence looks like? He is elusive. And having cataracts doesn’t help!
Last night our gremlin took his trickery one step too far. He had the audacity to steal my leftover pierogi from the refrigerator! They were for my husband’s dinner. Without a clue left behind, they disappeared. This was an act of war! It was an over-the-top act of aggression that not only shocked me, it has me in full anxiety mode not knowing what will be missing tomorrow.
It all began when I offered to heat up the leftover pierogi for Stephen for dinner. Being the dutiful wife that I am, I went into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door and reached into the exact location I knew I had seen them earlier in the day. Well, I looked and looked, moved containers, bottles and carrots around and around until I was starting to feel dizzy, but no pierogi.
“Stephen, did you move the pierogi somewhere?” I yelled. Around the corner comes my husband with a look of concern, “No, I just saw them earlier today.” Stephen took over the search, bringing a chair over to sit in front of the wide open door of the refrigerator. Now I didn’t know what was worse, the loss of our pierogi or the loss of the frigid air that engulfed my husband in the glow of the brightly lit bulb of our fridge.
I pleaded, “Move, please, and close the door. They’re not in there.” I can still hear my father yelling, “Close that door!!” every time my siblings and I held the refrigerator door open to find a morsel to eat. “Do you think I own stock in the electric company?”
Together the search continued– in the freezer, the cabinets, the recycling, the garbage, the dishwasher– EVERYWHERE! Not a single onion and butter coated pierogi was to be found.
“Well onto plan B,” came the suggestion from my hungry husband. I realized I was not going to be the victor in this war. With no pierogi for dinner, we noshed on delicious tomato sandwiches and have come to the conclusion, this gremlin is here to stay.
