Dear Dani,

You are two days short of eight months old. I had the greatest time with you today as time stood still, something I missed terribly as a young mom, and know only in hindsight. 

I treasured the feel of your silky, perfectly formed inch-long fingers, strong beyond their size. Your grip on my hair like the tow of a ton derrick, made me laugh.”OW!” as you pulled. I stood at your feet as you lay on the dressing table, lifting your head and shoulders to see me better, as mom changed your diaper. Your warm, small body on my lap was relaxed and still as you enjoyed “The Very Clumsy Click Beetle” story I read you. You perked up with fascination as the page came alive with its clicking. You listened intently and traced the red poppy flower on which the click beetle climbed with your small silky fingers. 

Recently I thought I’d be bored spending a few hours’ babysitting stretch with you. No conversation there, I knew. But the time flew as you fascinated me again. You sat on my lap listening to the story, then suddenly turned, twisting your entire body around to position your self squarely, face to face with me. From that posture, you studied my mouth with great focus with great focus as if to verify that the words were indeed, coming out of Grandma. Dani, there’s no one bigger I’d rather be with. You’re perfect. 

Soon I carried your small warm body, bright eyes and wide smiles, upstairs. I sang you a lullaby as you lay in my rocking arms. You were sweet in your mood, cooing. Still wide awake, I put you down gently and rubbed your back. You picked your head up, looked around, then put your head down. You rolled over, looked at me, smiled, causing you to lose your pacifier. You found it, held. it out in front of you, examined it, then maneuvered it back into your mouth right-side up, as you know how to do. I tiptoed out of the room.
 
Downstairs I joined mom listening to you on the monitor. I sat down on the floor next to it listening to your cooing, then came raspberrying, gentle squealing, moving around and finally, quiet. Upstairs, you had fallen asleep.

This time with you feels like I have a second chance–to block out the world and enjoy the moment. Thank you, Dani. Sleep tight. I love you so.